Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 07:22:59 +0100
Hej Allesammen !
"DDD" i dag er ikke ligefrem nogen ny joke. Faktisk fortalte min mor den
til mig da jeg var meget lille (det har jeg nemlig været engang). Hun har
igen siden fortalt mig at det var en joke som hendes mor (min mormor, red.)
har fortalt til min mor da min mor var lille. Ikke fordi jeg skal piske en
stemning op til den helt store generationsjoke, for størstedelen af
"DDD"-erne er jo som navnet antyder . . . . . .
Poor Taste Galore...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction on him.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to himself, She'll never go through with the
marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice
and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, His car broke down and since
they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be
late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and
the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since the man still had
several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before
he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra
large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. He
putt-putted down one hill and putt-putted up the next. By the time he
arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,
Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!.
She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to
feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the
blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until
she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one
leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a
hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about
him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He
raised his leg and rriiipppp!. It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and
smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while,
hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal
when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg
and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows shook, the
dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table
were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the
hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like
this for the next ten minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his
When he heard the phone farewells (indicating the end of his loneliness and
freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top
of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner
table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the
table for his surprise birthday party...