SSSS Nummer 92 1. årgang 3. juli 2002
Fandt på noget sjovt igår, har glemt det nu
Dette er SSSS nummer 93, og jeg på nuværende
tidspunkt skrevet knap 29000 ord i SSSS, fra jeg
startede i slutningen af januar, til nu.
Det betyder også at SSSS snart fylder rundt (og
det er ikke de 30000 ord jeg her tænker
på). Hvordan det skal fejres ved jeg ikke - endnu.
o O ( ) O o
I en kombination af dovenskab, og fordi Linda har
bestået endnu en eksamen, gik vi ud at spise i
går. Denne gang på "Kreta", der er en græsk
restaurant, der ligge på Jyllingevej. Her er tale
om ægte sydlandsk stemning, og superlækker
mad. Jeg drak en halv flaske retsina, mens Linda
fik en halv flaske rosé.
Vi blev begge to lidt plimmelim af den der vin, så
jeg faldt (lidt) i søvn foran TV'et. Da jeg så
blev frisk igen, var Linda søvnig...
o O ( ) O o
Dagens vittighed er lang, og jeg har hørt den før,
for mange år siden. Men, jeg kunne ikke lige
genkende den, så her kommer den:
Rosie and the Rabbi
The madam of a bawdy house answered the ring of
the bell, and on opening the door, she found
standing there on the threshold an ancient,
bearded gentleman in rabbi's garb.
"May I come in?" asked the rabbi gently in an
aged, quavering voice.
Feeling a little confused, the madam said, "But
rabbi, surely you must be in the wrong place. Here
is where we..."
"I know what you do here," interrupted the
rabbi. "You don't think I came here for chopped
liver, do you? Bring on da girls."
Still confused, but understanding her professional
duties, the madam had several girls line up. The
rabbi tottered from one to another until he
reached Rose, a large redhead with enormous
breasts. He looked at her with appreciation and
pointed, "Good! I'll take those."
The rabbi paid out the necessary sum and Rosie led
him upstairs. She helped him off with his coat
and hung it up carefully on the nail on the
door. Then she helped him off with the rest of his
clothes and got into bed.
There, to Rosie's astonishment, the rabbi
performed with skill that was unbelievable. In
fact, Rosie, a hardened professional, found
herself surprised into orgasm.
As they lay in bed a few minutes afterwards,
relaxing, Rosie said, "How old are you, Rabbi?"
The rabbi said, "God has been good to me. I am
eighty-eight years old."
"That is certainly amazing. Listen, Rabbi, if
you're ever in the neighborhood again and if you
should feel in the mood, please ask for
me... Rosie. I would be delighted to oblige you."
The rabbi said, with a certain hauteur, "What do
you mean, if I should be in the mood again? Let me
sleep for five minutes right now, and believe me,
I will be in the mood again."
"Really, Rabbi? Then please take a nap."
"Okay."
The rabbi adjusted himself into a relaxed
position, face up, placed his arms across his
chest and then said, "Wait one minute. This is
important. While I'm asleep, scoop up my testicles
with your right hand and hold them an inch above
the sheet without moving them. Keep them
absolutely motionless."
"Of course, Rabbi," said Rosie, and did as she was
told, holding the rabbi's testicles free of the
sheet.
For five minutes the rabbi slept, then woke with a
start and said, "I'm ready." To Rosie's delight,
he was even better the second time around.
As she lay panting, Rosie said, "It was wonderful,
Rabbi, but one thing I don't understand is why was
it necessary to hold your testicles motionless
above the sheet while you were sleeping?"
"Oh that," said the rabbi. "Well, you are a nice
girl and I like you very much, but the truth is I
don't know you very well, and over there in my
coat is five hundred dollars."
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