From: Rune
Date: Thu, 12 Feb 1998 09:12:16 +0100
Subject: Ja - ja - ja - jeg ved det godt
Hej Allesammen !
"DDD" er genopstået, uanset hvad folk tror og siger !
At jeg bukker under for sygdom en enkelt dag, er jo bare en naturlig pause
for jer allesammen. Der har godt nok været en del del klager over den
sidste sendings standard (hmm), men hvad er det folk klager over ? At
vittighederne er for morsomme - nej. At vittighederne er dårlige - ja.
Jamen folkens, jeg kan kun sige en ting: Hvad er det "DDD" er en
forkortelse for ? : )
Nuvel, dette er ikke en ønskekanal, men jeg vil ikke destomindre grave en
gammel "goldie" frem fra arkiverne. Som så mange gange før er der sikkert
mange der vil nikke genkendende til den, men den rene nostalgi er jo heller
ikke at foragte, vel ?
There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long
>business trip.
> He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to
>get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he
>didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
>So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around.
>He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to
>another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
>something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man
>behind the counter. He explained his situation, the old man "Well, I
>don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating
>dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything
>that will keep her occupied for weeks, except !!!" and he stopped.
> Businessman "Except what?"
> The old man "Nothing, nothing."
>Businessman "C'mon, tell me ! I need something!"
> The old man "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is
>the 'voodoo dick.'"
>Businessman "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked.
> The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old
>wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there
>lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and
>said: "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
> The old man "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
> He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."
>The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and
>started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the
>vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door
>could split, the old man said
> "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"
> The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there,
>quiescent once more.
> Businessman "I'll take it!"
> The old man resisted, saying "it wasn't for sale", but he finally
>surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife,
>told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to
>do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that
>things would be fine while he was gone.
>After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny,
>she thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but
>then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said
>"Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and
>started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
>After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to
>pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried
>and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had
>forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the
>hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in
>the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every
>thrust of the dildo On the way, another orgasm nearly made her
>swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He
>asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
>Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking,
>but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop
>screwing.
> The officer looked at her for a second, and then said:
>"Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"
For dem som trænger til lidt nyere underholdning vedlægger jeg de
vittigheder som henholdsvis Søren og Henning sendte til mig, som svar på
min genopstandelse. De er lidt grovkornede (kvindefjendske), men hvad andet
kan man forvendte sig af mænd i deres bedste alder ! : )
En mand kommer ind i en sædbank med løftet pistol og bind for ansigtet.
Hænderne op skriger han til damen bag skranken, dette er et bankkup. "Det
her er ikke sådan en bank" siger hun chokeret, "hold kæft kælling og gå
hen og åben for boksen." Hun fremstammer, "jamen det er ikke en rigtig
bank". "Åben eller jeg skyder". Hun åbner for boksen. "Tag den første
flaske" siger han. Hun tager flasken. "Drik det". Hun drikker. "Tag den
næste flaske" siger han, "jamen" stammer damen, "hold kæft og drik det
eller jeg skyder". Hun drikker det og pludselig sænker manden pistolen
tager masken fra ansigtet og smiler til hende. Det er hendes mand.
Han siger, "der kan du se skat det er slet ikke så slemt Vel ?".
A boyfriend and girlfriend were visiting the zoo one day. They stopped
outside the gorilla cage and decided to observe the gorilla's habits. The
gorilla seemed bemused by the couple and just sat there doing absolutely
nothing.
After several minutes of staring at the gorilla, the boyfriend said to
his girlfriend "Lift up your blouse and show him your tits".
The girlfriend, at first, refused but then decided that it might be
amusing
to see how the gorilla would react. She hoisted up her top and the gorilla
immediately raised his eyebrows.
Seeing the gorilla's reaction the boyfriend said "Drop your pants and
show him your ass".
The girlfriend dropped her pants and showed the gorilla her ass. The
gorilla
began to pant and had sweat pouring off his gorilla eyebrows. He started
jumping up and down and running around his cage.
The boyfriend then said to his girlfriend "Now drop your pants and show
him your pussy".
The girlfriend hesitated for only a moment and then drop her pants and
showed
the gorilla her pussy. The gorilla was now going completely crazy with
sweat pouring off his brows and an enormous gorilla hard-on. He was
jumping
up and down frantically.
The boyfriend then pushed his girlfriend into the cage! She was shaking
in
the corner and as the gorilla approached her, the boyfriend said "NOW TELL
HIM
YOU'VE GOT A HEADACHE!"
Vi lader lige disse to stå et øjeblik, mens vi sender Søren & Henning en
varm tanke !
Hygge & hejsa
Rune